Free to Remain

God uses unqualified people to reveal His heart. In Exodus 4, God used Moses, an unsure man with a speech impediment to champion His people out of slavery. In Joshua 2 he used a prostitute, Rahab, to rescue God’s chosen people as they traveled through dark cities to their Promised Land. In Luke 1, God used a virgin girl, Mary, to carry, give birth, and raise our Savior, Jesus. Like these, I don’t feel equipped and confident to share about singleness, but I’m on my own journey of discovering God’s goodness and graciousness in what can sometimes feel like a long, lonely, and tender journey.

I am 24 years old and single. I’ve dated, but the cards on the table just don’t seem to add up to the things I’ve been searching and hoping for. I have spent many recent days trying to figure out the problem. Why does God give gifts that I want to other people and not to me? What can I do in my own strength to achieve the things I desire, including not being single?

When I was asked to share about how I am “free to remain,” as 1 Corinthians 7:25-26 concludes that “it is good for a person to remain as he is,” I thought, “I didn’t realize that.” I am now learning right along with you.

A couple of weeks ago, in the middle of uncertainty, silence, and rejection in the area of dating, I woke up in the middle of the night with feelings of extreme sadness, emptiness, and longing. I felt so anxious that I literally did not know what to do. I remembered that I’d been, up until that point, praying for weeks for God to fix my situation, to change somebody else’s mind, to work out some sort of miracle so that my deep desires of finding belonging and family could be fulfilled. It wasn’t an “I-want-what-I-want-when-I-want-it” situation, but a pure and honest desire that I believe does come from God. At that moment, I decided to pray simply for God to meet my most basic need. I didn’t need God to change someone’s mind, I needed peace. I needed rest. I needed His love. I soon felt a wave of peace, my tears stopped, and I fell asleep. This happened throughout the night and then again throughout the following day. God did answer my prayer, but I still ask God every hour of every day to simply feel His love. This goes for singles and married alike. When we feel His love, we don’t feel the need to seek somebody else’s love. We don’t need to console ourselves by working out our own plans to solve our problems. I am not lacking even though I am single, contrary to what my feelings tell me. I am not captive. I am free.

I am…
Free to long, desire, and remain patient.
Free to put me out there, and remain of sound mind when prospects enter and leave my life.
Free to feel discouraged and remain hopeful that God’s plan is sweeter than I can imagine.
Free to pray for change, and remain confident that His ultimate plan is unchangeable.
Free to be confused and ask God for vision and clarity when working through heartbreak.
Free to cry, and let God’s fullness and peace wash over me; remaining in my places of emptiness and longing.

I find comfort in Sam McCabe’s lyrics from his song, Friend in the Fire.

God is with us on that long, lonely, and tender journey. He is willing and able to provide the daily and hourly love that we long for. All you need, dear one, is to remain.

Sarah Adams
Junior High Intern