The word forgive means different things to different people. Someday when I feel it, maybe I’ll forgive him/her unfaithfulness. How many people do you know who still haven’t gotten over a broken relationship/heart? Years later, they are still talking about the wrong done to them. The danger is, they are completely unaware of the damage to their souls and every other relationship because of it. A fight over the parents’ estate, the hatred felt towards someone who hurt their child, or any injustice in life we face we just can’t forgive–or think we can’t. Lord, are we expected to forgive someone who not only hasn’t asked for it but doesn’t deserve it? Surely we can’t be expected to forgive someone who stole our business, or worse, a drunk driver who caused an accident and killed a family member.
When we don’t choose to forgive someone because we long for them to experience our pain and we long for justice, it becomes a lingering debt that just keeps growing in our hearts. The pain doesn’t go away, it gets worse. What do I mean by “choose?” I mean tell God and then if possible the person you forgive them, whether they’ve asked or not. Not because you “feel” like it but because God requires it, and why, because He loves us. He wants us to have his peace and joy in our lives, which is impossible where there is a bitter root of unforgiveness.
Start praying for the person you choose to forgive. Prayer is powerful. The Lord unleashes his power and you begin to see the person as God does, someone worthy of grace and mercy. Forgiveness doesn’t always mean restoration of a relationship but it does mean healing in your heart. You aren’t required to be best friends with someone who has done great harm. You might have the boldness to speak to the person and offer grace, and maybe even share that you are praying for them. Does that seem impossible? Nothing is impossible for God and he wants the best for us! And our debtors!
Our Father heals any situation or relationship when we humble ourselves before him and remember that he forgave us a lifetime of sin or wrongdoing at the cross and pours out his grace and mercy daily because he loves us. What does he expect us to do? Take a deep breath, tell him how you honestly “feel” and ask for his help, and then choose to forgive. Forgiveness is a process, not a magical moment. Maybe you’ve buried that bitter root so deep you’re not even aware of it anymore. Today ask the Holy Spirit to reveal any unforgiveness in your heart and pray . . . Create in me a clean heart, Oh God, and renew a right spirit in me.” Psalm 51:10
Deb Hill